Weekend: A Siri Autocorrect Story, Sugar Cookies, Cute NYE Tops & Extra

Final Tuesday, Lana was sitting beside me on the breakfast desk after I let loose a chuckle. (Oh, hello, by the way in which. It’s Em, pinch-hitting for Shana this week.)

“Whatwhatwhat mother! What’s humorous?” she mentioned, leaning over to peek at my cellphone earlier than I may pull it away from her. I had voice-to-text’d my cousin, Lauren, a couple of minutes earlier than and had solely then checked out Siri’s interpretation of my supposed message.

We had been speaking about feeding our babes (her youngest is only a month older than Eleanor) and what was speculated to learn “Elle ate a meatball with a ton of pasta, too” was despatched as “Elliot’s akimbo with a ton of prostitutes.”

I imply, I can’t make these things up.

As luck would have it, Lana learn it earlier than I may flip the display away, and even though neither “akimbo” nor “prostitutes” are in her vocabulary, she began cackling and proceeded to repeat the textual content fail aloud over. And over. And over once more.

Fifteen minutes later and we’re on the stroll to high school. She sees her buddy, Kaia, down the road and runs to catch up. “You’ll by no means guess what occurred! This morning my mother was texting Auntie Lauren who additionally has a child that’s Eleanor’s age however a month older and she or he additionally has a bit boy however he’s like three and nicely she meant to say ‘Elle ate a meatball with a ton of pasta, too’ and Siri despatched the message as ‘Elliot’s akimbo with a ton of prostitutes!!!!!’ Isn’t that hilarious! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”


After we acquired to high school, you guessed it, she spent each second till the bell rang working as much as one buddy after one other to regale them with this story. I’d see her gesturing, animatedly, arms flung out to her sides (akimbo, even?) till she reached her punchline, at which level — and that is the actually wonderful half — her buddy would throw again their head in laughter and the 2 would share this temporary second of hilarity earlier than she’d skip off to inform another person.

My thoughts was blown. I imply, children may be wild and peculiar and a handful. However they can be such lovely, cool little people.

To be clear, between her excited mumbling and the rambling anecdote, launched into with very little context, I’m 100% sure these buddies had no freaking thought what Lana was speaking about.

However there they had been, simply basking within the shared pleasure of storytelling for the sake of…storytelling.

Whereas I, after all, had the only pleasure of explaining to eight totally different dad and mom why they is perhaps listening to the phrase “prostitutes” on the dinner desk that night time.

Now that’s a enjoyable story to inform.

Talking of enjoyable tales…Chris was at his work’s vacation occasion final night time, so I began bingeing Harry + Meghan on Netflix. It’s predictably indulgent and but virtually…relatable? And I’ve by no means wished to befriend one other couple extra. Stalking properties in Montecito as we converse. (Thus far this “storybook cottage” tops my listing at a cool $10M. Ha.)

I maaaybe simply subscribed to GQ. Longreads printed their Best Of 2022 — principally a curated listing of among the greatest articles and essays from everywhere in the net — and it’s the proper distraction from the chaos of the season. In step with the Royal Household theme (unintentional, I swear), I simply completed Laurie Penny’s piece 14 Hours in the Queue To See Queen Elizabeth’s Coffin, initially printed in GQ. It’s equal components fascinating and intelligent (“…We will both preserve calm or stick with it. A few of us can barely do both….”) and makes me lengthy for the times after I would linger over items like this in print.

Swappin’ cookies? We make Dessert for Two’s easy sugar cookies virtually weekly (the butter is melted, not room temp, so you may make them at a second’s discover), and she or he simply made the sweetest Grinch version that delivers big-effort vibes with little effort employed. My fave. (Need extra of a rolled sugar cookie for adorning? These egg-free, 4-ingredient sugar cookies are my go-to.)

Waxing poetic. I can by no means cease speaking about Apotheke. They make a few of my favourite scents, and this pair of holiday candles at Nordstrom combines two of the fragrances we love most. I stocked up on the Black Cypress final 12 months — it’s good, woodsy and Christmassy with out smelling like a automobile freshener — and the Firewood scent is nutty and spicy with only a be aware of patchouli that retains issues feeling actually heat and nostalgic (however not such as you simply walked right into a headshop within the Haight, promise).

For the unimaginable man. I didn’t have the bandwidth to place collectively a brand new males’s present information this 12 months, however right here’s what I’m selecting up for (notoriously choosy) Chris: these gorgeous and dishwasher safe Italian coupe glasses (to not toot my very own horn, however I spent weeks researching them); Truff hot sauce (on eggs and fries, on the very least); and this luxe cashmere set for lounging: waffled crew/sweatpants, each on sale! Extra good finds within the workforce’s super-curated males’s present guides.

Glowing my thoughts. Biossance launched their new Squalane + Vitamin C Rose Moisturizer this week, and scorching rattling it’s good. You may learn my full love letter to it right here, but it surely’s made my pores and skin vivid and glowy and is, with out exaggeration, one of the best skincare product I’ve tried in a protracted whereas.

One last item. We’re seeing Kaskade within the metropolis on NYE with some buddies. So now I’m on this textual content thread of mothers frantically attempting to resolve how you can look cool and kinda sorta younger however, like, not attempting too laborious whereas additionally being comfortable amidst a crowd of undulating our bodies. (To make clear: I’m very excited — simply rusty relating to the membership scene.) Thus far I’m pondering of taking a web page straight out of my faculty freshman wardrobe and pairing these Dickies or cargo pants and my trusty Vans with a sexy-ish high. Like this corset-y thing or possibly this ruffled number.

Foiled once more! However then, ohhh, there’s this silvery situation, too. However will I simply find yourself a sweaty mess with one chilly, clammy shoulder at night time’s finish? Ugh. Options extremely welcome.

Completely satisfied weekend, buddies!